"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29
Mom! Brother just called me...
Mom! Payton said...
Mom! Can you please tell Rylan to stop saying...?
If you are a mom, no doubt you have heard similar interactions (sometimes ad nauseam) between your kids a time or two. It is exhausting to constantly referee the match of unkindness, isn't it?
One day I was feeling particularly weary. I sought the Lord and asked, "Jesus, why do I feel so beat down today? I just want to quit, why?" As I poured out my disenchanted prayer, I began to trace back events of the day. I sat with Jesus and realized that my day had started with a thorough inventory of everything I thought I was doing poorly. I thought of all the ways I was frustrated with myself. I topped that cake with a sprinkling of internal jabs about my wrinkles and discontentment over how I looked. Onward! I sighed deeply and moved on with my day. Literally, upon waking, my kids were at each other throats. Backbiting begat bickering. Bickering begat bitterness. It was a certifiable lineage of unkindness. Corrupt talk came up out of their hearts, and poured forth from their mouths toward one another as if their native language. Fast forward to the end of the day. An already haggard version of me happened to read a critical, nay, condemning comment about some work I'd submitted. It was the perfect "last straw" confirming all my self-imposed shots, stabs, and suspicions from the beginning of the day.
Wow! No wonder I was feeling defeated. From the start, my family and I indulged in divisive, defeating, downright mean words and thoughts toward ourselves and each other. We were also sinning. The Word of God makes it very clear that our thoughts and words are important to the point of affecting our health, our relationships, our prosperity, our future, our peace, and our holiness. In my weary state, I asked the Lord for help. I'm sharing with you today the practical tool He gave that day to help myself and my family guard our hearts, train our thoughts, and tame our tongues to promote love, right thinking, and harmony.
The Lord brought to mind something I had read about years prior. The idea was to use rubber bands to help retrain thoughts. The principle was that every time you "caught" yourself thinking wrong thoughts, you would snap yourself on the wrist with the rubber band to create a shift away from harmful thoughts, toward good. While I wasn't particularity hip on the idea of giving myself a "zinger" every time I needed redirection, somewhere in that odd precept I realized there was wisdom. There was something to the idea of having a physical reminder to help direct right-thinking and honorable speech. The result of a pure heart.
To start, you will need to round up something you already have (like hairbands, bracelets, etc.) or purchase something to wear. These are my favorites:
You can just use this exercise yourself, or teach it to your kids too. Either way, the idea is the same. You begin your day (I put mine on immediately) with five bands on one wrist. This is your fresh start! Then, any time you think or say something that either does not line up with the Word of God, counters your dreams and goals, nurtures unkindness, in any way opposes Philippians 4:8, or simply doesn't promote something good, kind, helpful, or holy, you simply take inventory of that moment, confess it to God, pray, and then move one of your bands to the opposite wrist. Obviously, the goal is to end the day with all five bands still lovingly intact on the starting wrist. To promote the concept of grace and forgiveness I also allow the kids to "earn back" bands through repentance. If they are truly remorseful and repentant over something hurtful they have done or said, and the other person forgives them, they are free to move the band they lost back to the original wrist (this element of the exercise has proven to be really powerful!). If, you happen to end the day with all or most of your bands moved to the opposite wrist, don't allow the Enemy to cause you further condemnation for that. This is an exercise in growth and awareness, not perfection. Allow it to be an offering to the Lord and bring you to further dependence upon His strength to change your heart and renew your mind. When I move a band, or the kids need to move a band, we pray, "Lord Jesus, please forgive my wrong way of thinking [or speaking]. Thank you for another chance. Please remove from me all unclean, untrue, unholy thoughts or doubts that may be in my heart, mind, or soul. Let Your power be revealed in me and through me, oh God. Create in me a clean heart and a renewed mind. In Jesus name, I pray, amen."
This method has truly made a difference for me and my family. You must remain consistent and faithful to reap the full benefit, but if you do, I believe the Lord will use it to bless you and your family with increased harmony and love as well. Grace to you!
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