Do you know how to talk to God?

Seems a bit of an odd question doesn’t it? I find though that so many people struggle with this very thing. Many people find prayer – the gift of talking with God – to be unfamiliar and sometimes very uncomfortable.

I often hear from the people that I mentor that they really don’t “know how” to pray. They are almost looking for a formula for getting it “right.” Or, equally common is to hear people worrying that they’re praying for the “wrong things,” or feel guilty for praying about their struggles because they seem trivial or selfish.

Prayer is intended to be our direct line of communication with our Heavenly Father. Prayer is a gift meant to be a blessing and a source of peace and power. Somewhere along the line though, the Enemy managed to twist up our thinking about prayer. He took this great gift from the Lord and told us lies that for many has made prayer a source of great confusion, self-condemnation, and in many cases, shame. No surprise really. If the Enemy can keep us from praying he keeps us at an effective distance from God. When we are in intimacy with the Lord through prayer we are a force to be reckoned with. The enemy of our souls knows this. He knows our prayer is dangerous to him, so he does everything he can to keep us from it.

I want to use this time to encourage you today. I’m going to talk about the three most common struggles I hear from people about prayer. My hope is to help shed some light on the concept of prayer. I hope to cause you to think differently about prayer. I hope to leave you feeling free from guilt and empowered by a renewed mind toward prayer. Ready?

Struggle #1: How do I know if I’m praying the “right” thing?

This struggle is probably the one I hear more than any other. So many people wrestle with themselves wondering if they are praying for the wrong things. I hear them worry. Do you experience this? I hear things like, “What if I’m not praying for what God wants?” I even hear from people who worry that their prayers could even alter their future, or rob them of a blessing God intended because they prayed for the wrong thing. Over and over again people ask me this question, “Sarah, how do I know the right thing to pray?” The answer is actually very clear and simple. It’s not my answer though; it’s straight from the mouth of God himself. We can have total peace and assurance that we are praying the right thing when we follow the instructions for prayer that He gave us.

1 John 5:14-15 gives us the answer. This verse tells us, “This is the [remarkable degree of] confidence which we [as believers are entitled to] have before Him: that if we ask anything according to His will, [that is, consistent with His plan and purpose] He hears us. And if we know [for a fact, as indeed we do] that He hears and listens to us in whatever we ask, we [also] know [with settled and absolute knowledge] that we have [granted to us] the requests which we have asked from Him.”

Do you see it? When we pray for anything that aligns with God’s will, we can have complete and total confidence that we’ve prayed for the right thing and that He hears us. We know what’s aligning with His will by looking into His Word. The Bible is the will of God. Everything in it lines up with His thinking. We can never, never go astray when we pray in harmony with His word. That’s why my favorite way to pray is to pray His words. I find that for many, many people praying the Word is a brand new concept. I promise you though, it is – hands down – the most powerful form of prayer you’ll experience. It’s powerful because any distraction or concern about praying the “right way” for the “right thing” is settled. It’s just settled. You KNOW that you are praying for the right things. If you’re looking for a prayer formula, this is it. This is the secret formula for reaching the ear and heart of God.

If you’ve never prayed this way, you may have no idea how to begin. Let me give you a few examples to help get you started. As I’ve said before, when we pray God’s heart, that’s where His purpose meets our potential and we become a powerhouse for the Kingdom.

Praying God’s word is something anyone can do, but maybe you’d like a little help beyond these examples? If so, there are great books to help guide you. Two of my favorites are The Secret Power of Speaking God’s Word by Joyce Meyer, and Praying God’s Word by Beth Moore.

Praying for your body

Thank you Lord for the honor of caring for my body. You see my body fit to be a sacred home, a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. Wow! Thank you that this body was purchased at a high price by your Son and that I have the privilege of caring well for it. Please help me Lord as I go about my day today to make choices that are holy, and sacrificial, and pleasing to you Lord. Whatever I choose to put in my body today, help me to be purposeful about doing it with gratitude and a focus on giving you glory. Thank you for giving me the strength and awareness to be careful about what I look at. May I be alert to the tricks and schemes of the enemy? I know that my eyes are the lamp to my whole body and that if my eyes are healthy, my whole body will thrive with health and be full of light. Thank you for masterfully creating my body. I eagerly offer it to you today as a pleasing sacrifice. May I be used to advance your Kingdom here on Earth today? In Jesus name, amen.

Praying for your kids

(This was written by Angela Doell from Relate Church, but it’s one of my favorites)

God, we know that [child’s name] is a gift from You. She’s a treasure who brings joy to those who know her. [Child’s name] loves You with all she is–she puts You first and holds tight to You. She’s a good friend–she loves people and they love her back. She knows Whose she is, a child of the King. She’s protected as she goes about her day because You give Your angels charge over her. You are her refuge and fortress. She has great peace and undisturbed composure. She can face this day with a smile on her face, with no fear, because She trusts You and she knows she’s safe.[Child’s name] chooses Life. She loves Wisdom. Everything her hand touches is blessed. She’s blessed wherever she goes–when she comes in and when she goes out. She honors her leaders and teachers, and she works diligently. She is the head and not the tail.God, you specially designed [Child’s name] before she was born, and we’re thankful that You have a big plan for her life. Today she walks in the destiny You’ve planned for her. In Jesus name! Amen.

Praying for freedom from strongholds

Lord, though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. I know that you live in me and because of that I am stronger than any, ANY, stronghold or struggle that tries to come against me. You are the God who stretched out His hands and made kingdoms tremble. You command strongholds to bow and they must obey. You God are my rock. You are my stronghold. You are a safe place when the storms rage around me. You strengthen me. You deliver me. You are stronger than any temptation I face and no temptation will overtake me. I am a child of God and I live a life worthy of my call. I take up every bit of armor now and go into battle armed and protected. I stand firm and will not be shaken. In Jesus name, I claim this as mine. Amen

Struggle #2: How do I keep prayer fresh and real, not a ritual?

I was having coffee with a friend the other day who was feeling guilty because she dreads bedtime prayers with her kids. I think my response surprised her. I said, "Oh yeah, no! I don't pray with my kids at night." Let me explain. I'm up at 4 a.m. From the moment my feet hit the ground I'm "on" - all day. My day is productive but full and by 8 p.m., I'm the least appealing version of myself. My wise friend once said, "Bedtime is the uphill spirit at the end of a long endurance run." So true. By bedtime the sweet voices of my beloveds are more like sharp knives piercing my eardrums. My honest prayer would go something like, "Sweet Jesus, please let these amazing creatures stop talking so I can go to sleep." I'm certain that if I primarily pray with my kids at bedtime they will view prayer as a forced, obligatory, artificial ritual. So, I don't do it. I choose not to pray at bedtime. I tell them how much I love them. I tell them that I'm proud of them. I tell them I'm so thankful to be their mom. I tell them God loves them. And then I turn off the light and fall into bed.

My deepest desire for my kids is to have a real, thriving, authentic prayer life. I want them to experience what real communication with their Living God feels like. I don't want prayer to be a rote, prescribed, meaningless obligation. If bedtime prayer is a rich, wonderful blessing for your family- SO awesome! If not though and you've been feeling guilty about that, I'd contend that the Father wants to release you of that guilt. Our God desires prayer that is born of relationship not religion. The greatest gift we can give our kids is to learn to love talking to God, not dread it.

I tell this story because to really enjoy the full reward and richness of prayer, we have to remember that it’s relational. Prayer is simply conversation with someone who adores you. You can be yourself. You don’t have to use fancy words, or suddenly start speaking as though you’re conducting some kind of religious ceremony. No! You simply talk. You talk to your Heavenly Father in “real life” words. It’s ok to sometimes be raw. It’s ok to sometimes be funny. It’s ok to be real. You can be mushy or moody, thankful but truthful, boldly broken or full of delight and devotion. It’s ok to just – be – you.

Struggle #3: How to pray unceasingly?

Finally, the third most common stumbling block I hear from people is this, “I want to pray, but I just can’t find the time.” Do you relate?

Let’s take a look at 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, it says, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I reference this passage because I firmly believe that if God intends for us to pray without ceasing – meaning continually, persistently, to never stop praying - He didn’t have a form of prayer in mind that required a time out from life in order to accomplish it.

I firmly believe the Father heart of God desires prayer as an ongoing conversation with us. Not perfectly planned fancy words. I imagine that the kind of prayer God desires is the same kind of conversation you’d have with your mom, sister, husband, or best friend. It’s just hanging out, doing life together. I will never forget a conversation with a close friend. I’d casually mentioned that I didn’t know what to do with my hair. I said without giving it much thought, “I don’t know, I’ve been asking God what to use on my hair.” SCREECH! Hold up.

Deeply perplexed and moderately offended, she said, “You PRAY about your hair?” Feeling slightly unprepared for her response, I more timidly said, “Ummmmmmm, yes, you don’t?”

Friends, I believe with every cell of my being that God the FATHER, our Daddy, our friend, the lover of our souls wants to talk with us about EVERYTHING! He knows the number of hairs on my head, I think He’s ok with talking about what I use on them. I say this to encourage you to talk with God about everything. I feel very confident encouraging you to do it, don’t believe the lying whispers that something isn’t worthy of God’s time or attention. That’s the voice of the Enemy, it’s not God telling you that.

I also believe that to pray without ceasing requires something I call “arrow” prayers. They are a quick shot to the ear of the Lord. The Lord gives us arrow prayers for those moments when we need quick and powerful help. They are the one or two word cries for help. They may not even be words, they may just come out as groans and tears. Arrow prayers are the ongoing “God please help” type of prayers. They hold us up when we need the right words, instant decisions must be made, emergency situations arise, even in moments of praise and worship. They are the on-the-spot, anytime-anywhere type of prayers. If you pay attention, I’ll bet you’re praying more than you actually think! They may just be in the form of a bulls-eye full of arrows. That’s exactly what the Lord loves!

Now, please allow me pray for YOU!

Gracious, loving Father God, we thank you for the gift of prayer. Help us to begin to understand it as just that – a gift. It’s you reaching out to us out of love. It’s your way of relating with us. Thank you that you are a relational God. You are not a sterile, inapproachable God. You are a friend, you are a Father, you are a listener and comforter. You laugh when we’re silly. Your heart breaks when our heart breaks. You care about every detail of our lives and desire to hear about them. Lord, will you transform the way we think about prayer and guide us as we desire to draw nearer and closer to you today. In the powerful name of Jesus we can say with assurance, amen – it is so!