Hello! My name is Courtney and I’m so honored to get to share my transformation story with you all.

I have been obese (morbidly so, as much as that word makes me wince) all of my adult life. It all started in 2003 when I found myself gaining weight rapidly despite making no changes to my diet and exercise routine ( I was a High School junior and active basketball player and cheerleader). I was quickly diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and was told to expect some “mild” weight gain. Well, that “mild” weight gain ended up being about 40 pounds over the course of a year.

I graduated High School at 5’9 and around 190 pounds. I soon hit the road for new beginnings, leaving my small town in Alaska for the “big city” that is Grand Rapids, Michigan. In college, with cafeteria food seemingly unlimited and free, and finding myself in the throes of a depression at a small private college in a state I had never lived in before, I ate for comfort, friendships and fun. I ate to combat boredom. I ate to stay awake. I ate to go to sleep. I just ate…and ate…and ate. I found myself having easily gained about 60 pounds over the course of my few years in college and entered into real world adulthood at about 250-260 pounds.

From about age 21 until age 28, I bounced between 260 and 305 pounds. I remember clear as day seeing “305” register on the scale in January of 2015. I was about 10 months out from a major cancer diagnosis and had used food to cope with my diagnosis and the change it made in my life. I was on 3 blood pressure medicines daily and was still unable to control my BP, and I was diagnosed as being pre-diabetic. Things like tying my shoes had become challenging. I was embarrassed to do anything with friends that involved walking or being active as I was struggling to hide how winded they made me.

I remember very clearly when things hit an all-time “low” for me. I was taken to lunch by my boss and the president of the college that I work for…they treated me to this ultra-fancy lunch downtown and requested a lovely window seat. Imagine my shock and surprise when I was completely unable to fit into the booth-literally, I could not squeeze my fat into the booth and we had to be relocated. It was and still is probably one of the most embarrassing experiences that I can remember. I felt so ashamed, so alone. I wondered why God wouldn’t give me the strength to stop eating. I wondered why he wouldn’t take away my desire to eat. I wondered why he had allowed me to develop PCOS and to get cancer. I felt betrayed by Him…which led me even more strongly to food abuse.

Shortly after the booth incident in the restaurant, I found myself lying on a beach in Hawaii in a 3x bathing suit that I struggled to tuck myself into, attempting to smile and tell myself I was a confident obese woman and that size was only a number. As I sat on that beach I replayed the “reel” in my head of my twenties. I do not remember being able to come up with one single memory in which my obesity had not directly affected things. I rarely laughed unless I was making fun of myself for being fat, I rarely made others laugh unless it was making fun of myself for being fat.

I had very few dates and the men who did express interest were usually not at all what I had hoped for-but I felt that I had to “take what I could get” because of my size. I had allowed co-workers and companies to walk all over me and take advantage of my hardworking and committed nature…all b/c I was convinced I couldn’t find a better job due to my size. As much as I wanted to believe that size meant nothing…in reality, it was my everything-it controlled every decision, every thought, every plan I made for nearly all of my twenties.

Lying on that beach in Hawaii I made the decision to do the scariest thing I have ever done. I decided to seek medical intervention for my obesity: weight loss surgery. I knew I had to admit that there was a problem- a serious one, and get some help before it cost me my life. Three months later, I did just that. Making that decision to admit my problem: to acknowledge out loud that I was unable to control myself with food and that I needed medical intervention was the most humbling thing I’ve ever done. Making the choice to seek that intervention was also the best thing I’ve ever done as well.

You see, in what was the scariest moment of my life-alone laying on a foreign hospital surgical table voluntarily going under the knife to reduce the size of my stomach, I fully surrendered. I surrendered my disappointments, my anger and my hurt. I surrendered what I thought my life would be, and what I felt God owed me. I just surrendered-and I made a vow. If God would allow me to get through this with my life, I’d somehow learn to value mine and be healthy. Luckily, He saw fit to get me through that surgery and I’m now nearly 8 months post-op. In these 8 months, I have lost 140 pounds and have gone from 300 pounds to approximately 160. I have gone from a size 24 to a size 6. I have broken an addiction to food, and alcohol, and the approval of others. I have broken an addiction to treating any and all emotions with food. I am finally free of living my life waiting for things to begin-instead, I’m truly able to live each day and appreciate it for what it is- a glorious opportunity to do my best to make my God, my family, myself and my sweet pup proud. Nothing more, nothing less.

I found Katie and Dashing Dish right after my cancer diagnosis in 2014, and I started experimenting with her wonderful recipes. As much as I loved Dashing Dish, I have always felt a kindred connection with Katie-though our stories are very different, her message of hope and freedom from body and weight obsession has always transcended background similarities. Through Dashing Dish, I was able to realize that Clean Eating really can be delicious. No, really…it can. I have served many a DD recipe to many a non “clean” eater and they’ve been devoured and enjoyed. I realized I love spaghetti squash, and cauliflower and that gluten free baking is REALLY fun. I’ve watched as Katie has gone from popular blogger to super famous author and speaker and still I see a sweet and humble person whose heart is to help women find their healthy. I am so blessed to have found this wonderful Dashing Dish community-the recipes and exercise guides have been an invaluable part of my journey to health.

I now get the opportunity to encourage other women on their weight loss journey in my own right through Instagram and love sharing photos of my Dashing Dish creations. If you are on the fence about becoming a Dashing Dish member…don’t wait-take the leap! The food, fun, and community you’ll discover here is unparalleled.

I hope these words can be encouraging to someone out there. Maybe the woman who feels her weight is too far gone, that is nearing giving up the goal of health. Don’t give up. We can achieve the goals the Lord has placed within our hearts to pursue when we surrender control and embrace the path He designs for us. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but truly the most rewarding.

Blessings,
Courtney