It had been building. My daily frustration and disappointment had been festering. Finally, without warning my angry, hurtful words burst forth toward my unsuspecting husband.

Let’s rewind just a bit. When I delivered our second child I topped the scales at my highest weight ever. For six months after I’d worked really hard to lose weight. I was super disciplined about food and exercise. I hadn’t told my husband about my efforts, I just did it. And, exactly six months post-delivery I slipped on THE pair of jeans – sisters, you know the ones – they were perfect in every way and showed off all my hard work (plus, they were a whole size smaller than even my lowest goal). I was thrilled. Surely, SURELY today would be the day my husband would take notice of his slender wife. Surely he would lavish me with words of praise and approval over my “beaut-glutes”! I confidently marched downstairs where we offered our good morning greetings and proceeded to go about preparations for the day - nothing. Hours passed and still, Not. A. Word! I was disappointed to say the least! I’d had enough, “You haven’t said anything – not a WORD – about how much weight I’ve lost! You’re so selfish! I can’t believe you haven’t noticed!” I shouted and stormed upstairs, tears pouring down my face.

What happened next would forever change my heart and my perspective. The words that did come from my husband are still freshly etched on my heart. After giving me a little time to cool off, my husband gently came and sat next to me on the bed. He put his hand on my leg and said, “Of course I’ve noticed the change in you. You look amazing. But, that’s not what matters to me. And, more so, I know that my words could cause you stumble. I know you struggle with body issues, and I didn’t want my opinion to put undue pressure on you. You’re beautiful to me no matter what size you are.”

NO WORDS. Humility left me floored and speechless. What I’d perceived as disregard, thoughtlessness, and indifference in my husband was actually a depth of love and honor deeper than I could have ever imagined. This man knew me well enough to know that his much sought after compliment and approval could have become a distraction, even an idol, causing me wrong motives. It dawned on me in that moment that my husband has never said much about my appearance – he didn’t say much at my lowest weight, NOR did he ever, ever say a single thing about my weight when I topped the scales at over 200 pounds in my 5’5” body. He loved me the same.

What a revelation! My friends, this was an example of Jesus in the flesh. In that moment my husband loved me the way God loves all of us. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t look at how handsome Eliab is [his appearance] or how tall he is [his height], because I have not chosen [rejected] him. God does not see the same way [as] people see. People look at the outside of a person [appearances; the outward appearance], but the Lord looks at [on] the heart.”

When we put our confidence in the approval of people, we are not only granting them far too much authority and influence, we are also setting ourselves up time and time again for searing disappointment. However, when we put our confidence in the approval of God, we experience freedom. Suddenly, pressure to maintain a certain weight is lifted (a weight that, like mine was, may simply be too low for us to healthfully maintain). The words that don’t come no longer leave us feeling deflated and defeated. Preoccupation with ourselves is diminished and our focus on God increased - we become less and He becomes more!

Friends, if you find yourself relying excessively on the opinions of others, this blessing from Susie Larson is my prayer over you today!

“May you determine to be done with captivity! No more rehearsing your failures or rehashing your critics’ accusations. It’s time to remember God’s love, His faithfulness, and His heart of affection for you. It’s time to put all of your hope in the finished work of Jesus Christ. May you put a flag in the ground this day and declare, ‘My hope is built on nothing less but Jesus’ blood and righteousness!’ Rest in God’s grace. Rely on His love. And rehearse His promises because they’re true for you. Break free from the bondage of others’ opinions and walk free and full of faith today!”