Do you know it’s Gods will to heal you in your disappointments, as well as your most broken places!?

Sometimes I think we tuck the deeply broken places away, thinking if we just ignore them long enough, they will eventually resolve themselves.

When I had a emergency C-section with Ollie, I cried and felt so broken that I didn’t have the birth I imagined or desired. I took my disappointment to him just days free coming home from the hospital, and He gave me such a clear word of redemption and protection despite the outcome. He exchanged my disappointments for His perspective on my delivery, and I felt my heart heal almost instantly.

What I didn’t expect was to feel a deep sense of brokenness months after my delivery. I was watching a movie with Sean, and a woman gave birth to her baby, crying as she held her child for the first time. And suddenly- my heart went - OUCH!

I thought for sure I was healed in my heart, which was why I was surprised to feel tears well up in my eyes once again.

When I talked to the Lord about it, I realized I was healed about my disappointment about my delivery, but I was still holding onto heart ache about the first few hours after my son was born.

Because my C-section was emergent, everything was very fast paced, and because of it, my stomach was in knots physically and emotionally. I had so much adrenaline that my whole body was shaking. Shortly after he was delivered, I felt like I was literally knocked out from the surgery, emotions, and drugs.

The hardest part of Oliver’s arrival was no doubt the fact that I didn’t get to hold him moments after he was born. I didn’t get to feed him, do skin-to-skin, feel his little body, or look at him up close…for over three hours after he was born.

If you’ve ever had a baby, you know as a momma how precious these first few hours are.

Suddenly it hit me how heavy my heart was about Ollies first few hours, and that I would never get them back. It was more than just disappointment. I felt like I had been robbed.

I sulked with my feelings, nursing them over the next few days, when I felt the Lord drawing me to give him those broken places; So I asked Him to heal the deep hurts of my heart, and He was so faithful to meet me there.

The next day I opened my bible to Isaiah 61, which starts off saying…

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve in Zion
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

My eyes flooded once again with tears as I felt His comfort and healing wash over me like a wave.

I was reminded of the Lords faithfulness to heal every broken place of my heart, no matter how deep. All I have ever had to do is come to Him, and bring Him my heart.

There is no disappointment too small, or wound too deep that He can’t or won’t heal. Sit with Him. And let Him speak to your heart and heal it in a way only He can. He was sent to bind up the broken hearted, and heal our wounds. He will give you joy for mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair!