I can still feel the soft, warm cupping of chubby little hands on my face as my baby girl looked adoringly at me nose to nose. "Mommy," she'd say, "You're gorg." Moments later, she'd twirl into the room adorned with fake pearls and a ruffled dress to captivate her Daddy's attention. "Daddy, do I look beautiful?" she'd ask, already knowing the answer but yearning to hear it again and again.

There's no question. Girls are made to feel beautiful. It matters. It just does. It was knit into our very fiber as we were pieced together by the Creator.

Sometimes though, we don't FEEL beautiful. How do we help our girls navigate in a world that esteems physical beauty so highly? How do we help them understand that there will be times when your feelings deceive you and people hurt you? How do we root so deeply in their heart God’s words that swoon over them and say that they are beautiful, without flaw, captivating, and altogether lovely? How do we help them walk with heads held high and in holy confidence? We emulate, encourage, and inspire to help guide our girls.

Emulate

From the youngest moments, little girls notice what they perceive as good and right. They see it, and then they mimic it. My daughter couldn't sit still for more than three seconds, a tiny little whirling dervish, until the moment my makeup came out. As soon as I started applying my makeup, she would watch me with unrivaled focus. Why? She was learning about how to become more beautiful. I realized early on that if she was paying this much attention to my physical beauty, how much more would my words, actions, beliefs, and body language teach her about enduring inner beauty. I've lost all credibility if I speak words of condemnation over my image but encourage her to see hers through the eyes of Christ. The bottom line is that our girls learn more from what they observe and experience than what we say. If we aren't authentic, they sense it like a bloodhound on a hot trail. If there's a young girl in your life for whom you desperately desire a well-grounded, God-given understanding of her beauty and body, it begins with you! Emulate what you desire.

Encourage

All too often it feels as though our words must sound like the inaudible teacher in Charlie Brown to the ears of our kids. Don’t despair. A wise mom knows that our words are like pennies – they seem insignificant one by one, but they add up and, with time, yield a treasure. Don't grow weary in encouraging your girl toward good. Simply deposit a word at a time. Remind her who she is in Christ. It doesn't have to be a "thing." Simply remind her when she gets out of the car at school or just hanging out in those brief opportune moments. You need only plant one seed at a time to yield a harvest.

Not sure where to begin? This is who you are and who your girl is in Christ!

• A member of Christ's Body (1 Corinthians 12:27)
• Confident that God will perfect the work He has begun in me (Philippians 1:6)
• Given a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7)
• Born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
• Complete (Col 2:10)
• Chosen (Ephesians 1:4, 11)
• Holy and blameless (Ephesians 1:4)
• Gentle and Humble (Titus 3:2)
• Forgiven (Ephesians 1:8; Colossians 1:14)
• With a purpose (Ephesians 1:9 & 3:11)
• God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
• At peace in all situations (Ephesians 2:14)
• Secure (Ephesians 2:20)
• A holy temple (Ephesians 2:21; 1 Corinthians 6:19)
• A dwelling for the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 2:22)
• Free from every kind of sin (Titus 2:14; Titus 2:3)
• Cleansed (Titus 2:14; Titus 2:3)
• God's (Titus 2:14; Titus 2:3)
• Totally committed to doing what is right (Titus 2:14; Titus 2:3)
• Free to approach God with confidence (Ephesians 3:12)
• Called by name (Isaiah 45:3)
• A light to others, and can exhibit goodness, righteousness, and truth (Ephesians 5:8-9)
• Not alone (Hebrews 13:5)
• I possess the mind of Christ (I Corinthians 2:16)
• Victorious (I John 5:4)
• Protected with God's peace (Philippians 4:7)
• Dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)
• A new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• Free forever from sin's power (Romans 6:14)
• Delighted in (Zephaniah 3:17)
• TRANSFORMED! (Romans 12:2)

Inquire

When it comes to helping my daughter learn to love who she is, I've discovered that many times it's not what I say but what she says that's most important. Careful listening is essential. Recently, my middle school daughter came into the kitchen and sat down while I was making dinner (these are the golden moments!). She looked bothered as she told me that all her friend's style this year was going to be crop-tops with short-shorts and super long nails. Insert pause for an honest moment – my instinct was to respond something along the lines of, "Uh, heck no! I certainly hope you don't plan to go to school with half of your belly hanging out, and don't even get me started on those shorts." The important message here though is that I didn't respond like that. Sure, it takes an internal pause, but these are crucial moments that can't afford to be lost to reactive responses. Instead, I said, "Hmmm, what do you think about that?" Let me promise you this; her spoken words were 1000% more impactful to her than mine would have been. She shared that it didn't seem like an appropriate way to dress for school and that she understood now why I've always talked about watching how much skin we reveal (Ahem, I've been using the adage "Raise your hands and touch your toes, if anything shows, go change your clothes," since kindergarten. It does sink in!).

To inquire takes both persistent tying of tongues and practice. The reward, though, is great. When the young girls in your life face difficult decisions, ask what advice they think Jesus would give them. Ask which yields peace. When they're tempted by peer pressure and comparison, ask them if they feel authentic when they choose it. Simply ask and then listen!

As moms, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, or friends, we have such a beautiful, highly honored opportunity to speak into the lives of younger women. When we model spiritual priorities above physical preoccupation, we have true influence. The word of God admonishes us to be reverent in our behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, so that we may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonored. What a calling we have! A place of impact and inspiration. You were made for such a time as this, and the young women of the world need your wisdom. May we all remember who we are today!