Make the Thing the Thing

In our family, we make it a habit to remind each other to make the thing, the thing. If you've read articles from me over the years, chances are you've heard me refer to this before. If not, allow me to explain. Many times, what appears to upset us is merely a symptom and not the more profound hurt. As a family, we help each other peel back surface reactions to get to the actual "thing" that's upsetting us. The benefit of doing this is that we can speak out our genuine hurts, fear, or sadness into the light of truth and authentically help heal it rather than merely covering it up with hurtful words, reactive feelings, or harmful behaviors. The same holds when we turn to food to help comfort us. If we can pause and peel back our feelings until we get to that "ah-ha!" moment when we understand what's really causing us anxiety, we no longer need food to be a temporary fix. Sometimes we need help with this! Asking a trusted friend or family member to help you process through to understanding can be very helpful.

First things First

This next bit of encouragement may sound counter-intuitive at first. It is, however, something I've learned through experience and can help diffuse the power of stress eating. Many of us will start out resisting stress eating. We may feel the urge to eat out of the bag of potato chips but start with an apple, out of a good intention, to avoid pitfalls. The desire still nags, so we grab a handful of almonds. "Nope, not the right thing," our cravings protest. The struggle continues to unravel food by food until we finally succumb and go way overboard on the chips we first had our eye on. Does this scenario sound at all familiar? I've learned that when I'm in a place where I know there is an intense craving for a particular food (regardless of the reason), I'm most successful by choosing (notice, CHOOSING) it first. Why? Because I've discovered that sometimes it's my body helping me. I believe there can be a place for every kind of food, and occasionally, and with intention, less than ideally nutritious food can be an appropriate expression of self-kindness. Many, many times, we end up consuming unnecessary calories in the name of resisting a particular food, only to end up eating it anyway. If you know your body is asking for something specific, try allowing it within a reasonable portion. Enjoy it with permission and not shame. Acknowledge that you are choosing it and, as a result, the food is not controlling you. My guess is the minute you lift the ban a bit and honor yourself and trust your body with that treat, and you will no longer feel the strong pull. It will simply be something you choose to help yourself.

The Backup Plan

While there can be a healthy and appropriate place for food to help comfort, the truth is, most of the time, there is a much more effective route. I can't encourage you enough to have a backup form of stress relief already planned for times when you need it. If we wait until we need it, having the wherewithal to choose something beneficial can be challenging. If, however, we already have a plan to help ourselves, we simply default to it. Ask yourself, "What, other than food, helps relax me?" Make a list! Prepare for it! Maybe it's a walk? Maybe a bubble bath? Maybe a special beverage? For me, it's a fun magazine to flip through (I know, I'm SO old-school) or a slow walk. Whatever it is, prepare for it. Have an amazing brand of bubble bath on hand, or stock your favorite drink of choice. A successful backup plan requires preparation, but the time spent will pay dividends to help diffuse worry and set you up for success to keep from turning to food in times of stress.