Scripture: "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight." Ephesians 1:4

Reflection: “You are bad. Really bad. You deserve punishment.” I made that agreement with the Enemy early in my childhood, very early, I would guess as a toddler, maybe younger. I believed very deeply that I was inherently bad. I was flawed, unacceptable, uninteresting, repulsive, deserving of pain, and punishment. I’ll never forget the day life began to spring forth from those ashes. I read Ephesians 1:4 that says, “[In His love] He chose us in Christ [actually selected us for Himself as His own] before the foundation of the world, so that we would be holy [that is, consecrated, set apart for Him, purpose-driven] and blameless in His sight." Holy. That word caught my attention. The Lord really caused me to pause and consider that word. For days it swirled around in the back of my head. I read the definition and wrote it in my bible – “holy: to be exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness.”

This was a life-changing verse for me. When the Lord gave me this verse for the first time I sobbed. He caused me to dig deeper, and, in His mercy gave me a revelation that left me floored and free from that day forward. I realized that day that I never believed I was “good” enough – not for the people in my life, not at things I worked at, not physically, not spiritually, and certainly not good enough for God. Not only not good, I so deeply believed the opposite, I believed I was “bad." The Lord showed me that we don't have to be "good enough" for Him. We can't! We need only be holy, as HE is holy. This verse was the launching point for living in God’s love in a way I’d never even dreamed possible. Finding forgiveness toward myself and allowing myself to truly believe I was indeed forgiven and loved by God was the single most life-changing step to finding freedom from destructive behaviors. I pray wholeheartedly it will be for you too. Do you wholly, fully believe that you are the beloved, chosen, forgiven, cherished daughter of the Most High God? He has forgiven you! If you're holding on to something that seems unforgivable today, remind yourself that if the God of the Universe forgives you, you can forgive yourself too. Go in the peace and freedom of your forgiveness today.

Prayer: Lord, I only have one true enemy. The Enemy of my soul seeks to destroy my peace and joy. Help me, Jesus, not to be my own enemy. Please help me to profoundly understand that my life is a gift and that self-hatred is a sin. Lord, where I may be harboring unforgiveness toward myself for mistakes and regrets in my past, give me the courage to lay those at the cross and deeply receive your forgiveness. If there is no sin too great for you to forgive, pour your spirit out on my mind and heart to extend myself the same kind of grace. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Lord Jesus, I thank you that you live in me and reach the deepest, darkest parts of my life to shed light and freedom. Today, I will choose to trade the pursuit of good for the pursuit of holiness. Because YOU are good, I have all I need for victory, and today I choose to walk forward in that freedom. I give you all praise and lay claim to the promises of your Word in my life. In Jesus name, I pray, amen.