Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

From the time I was a young child I had a knowing deep on the inside of me that God loved me. It was never something I felt I had to earn or strive for. Yet there have been times in my life that in spite of knowing He is always with me, that I have felt He was distant or I couldn't hear Him as clearly.

About one year ago when I went through a very disappointing season, I came to a lonely place where I couldn't sense His presence in the same way, and I asked God what caused this distant feeling.

He spoke to my heart and told me that it was never Him that was far away, in fact, He never moved. Rather it was me that had a heart that had drifted as a result of my pain and circumstances. He pointed me to the story in Mark chapter 6 when His disciples had just witnessed Him performing the miracle of feeding the 5000, yet moments later they were scared for their lives when the thought Jesus had abandoned them in a storm.

After Jesus said to them, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” He climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened.

The Lord spoke to my heart and pointed out that their fear and feeling abandoned by a God that is so near was a result of a hardened heart. As I studied this out, I came to find three common ways a heart can be hardened, (although i'm certain it isn't limited to these three things, these were the things that I found would resonate with all of us in different seasons of life).

The three ways God showed me we can all get a hardened heart, and therefore lose the ability to perceive His voice, nearness, and presence is through: Preoccupation, doubting Gods goodness, and sin. Let's explore these three areas, and how we can soften our hearts to hear from God!

1. Preoccupation with our situation and circumstances

In the gospels we see how the disciples witnessed Jesus multiply five loaves and two fish into enough food to satisfy thousands. They ate the food themselves and saw Jesus perform many mighty miracles. That same night, they watched as Jesus walked on the water and calmed a storm instantly. These disciples knew that God could do many mighty works, and yet they doubted and were afraid just moments after seeing one of the greatest miracles performed.

So what hardened their hearts? The disciples looked at the circumstances in front of them instead of remembering the incredible power that Jesus had to meet their needs, and overcome any obstacle. Jesus calmed the storm to a whisper, and rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart. Likewise, how often do we get panicked, fearful, or worried about a circumstance that presents itself when God has just proven Himself faithful in a million other ways all around us!?

Preoccupation can also be caused by busyness and distractions, both of which I have fallen victim to as well. The problem with being preoccupied with the cares of this life is that it truly does crowd out our being able to perceive and receive from God.

How do we soften our hearts in this area?

So often we are just like the disciples, forgetting the good things God has done for us. He has most likely shown Himself faithful to you in countless ways, and yet the moment we get in a bind, it can be easy to forget the good things He has done. In those moments it is so important to remind your soul who God is and what He has done.

I like to journal and recount all of the ways God has shown Himself faithful! Sometimes we are quick to forget how awesome our God is when we see the storm in front of us. Remembering that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever will assure our hearts that if God did it once, He will do it again!

If the same respect, if you feel that your heart is being affected by preoccupation due to busyness, ask yourself where you are making room for things that aren't truly important, and make changes to keep God at the center.

When I ensure the first part of my day is quite time that I spend with the Father, I always expect to hear from Him. I also try to make time throughout my day to purposefully open my heart to hear. This could look like taking a rest and being still, singing and praising, or reading and studying His word.

2. Doubting God’s character and goodness

Another area we can get a hardened heart without realizing it is when we allow doubt about God's goodness to plague our minds. The moment we start to question the character and the heart of God, our hearts are in trouble! How can we depend on Him, and trust that He is near when we doubt that He truly cares for us?

I like to parallel my relationship with the Lord with a relationship between a loving father and a child. If a child doubted their father loved them, and truly wanted what was best for them, would they trust he would be there for them, standing close ready to love, protect, and comfort them? The same goes with us. When we question the heart of God, we will doubt His closeness towards us, and naturally, doubt will always produced a hardened heart that makes it difficult to perceive His presence.

How do we soften our hearts in this area?

To overcome hardness of heart in this area, we must first understand where evil and good come from. Jesus tells us in John 10:10 tells us, "The enemy comes to steal kill and destroy, but I have come to give abundant life!"

This is a very clear and easy to understand explanation of the author of both good and evil. Whenever we see evil, we can be assured that it can not, and could not be authored by God, for god is light and there is no darkness in Him. (1 John 1:5). Therefore, when we experience trials and tribulations, instead of blaming them on God, we must remember that we are in a fallen world where sin, evil, and corruption abounds, but they are entirely separate from God's plan and design.

Just because something bad has happened, doesn't mean that God isn't good. He has great plans for each one of us, but we don't always follow His plan, nor does this world always align perfectly with His original plan, and so bad things happen.

So how do we reassure our hearts that He is good and He cares for us when we are going through a hard season of life? We stay in fellowship with the Lord despite how we feel, and praise Him in the storm!

David did this in Psalm 103 he reminded his soul who God was, and all He had done! In one of his worst moments, he proclaimed,

"Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits..."

It surely wasn't easy for David, or any of the heros of faith in the bible to praise their way to victory, but singing about the goodness of God and reminding our hearts how He is with us will bring His power and presence on the scene! God inhabits the praises of His people, so you can be sure praise will draw you close to the heart of God!

3. Sin and going our own way

Last but not least, sin is one big way we can harden our hearts and keep from experiencing the presence of God. Again, even when we sin, it is never God that leaves us. Yes, I believe that just as an earthly father would grieve if their child does wrong, (because it will hurt the child and others around them), it grieves our Heavenly Father when we sin. However, God doesn't leave us when we sin, and He never turns His back on us, (just read the story of the prodigal son to dispel any wrong thoughts or theories on this one!) So, although sin doesn't make God distance Himself from us, sin dulls our hearts from hearing and perceiving His closeness.

Sin causes hearts to grow hard, especially continual and unrepentant sin. When we don't repent, or if we repent but don't turn from our sin, they can have a desensitizing effect on our heats, making it difficult to distinguish truth from a lie, and light from darkness. Because God is truth and light, it will make it difficult to hear from Him and perceive His presence when we are in the dark.

How do we soften our hearts in this area?

The best way to soften our hearts when it comes to sin is through repentance, and reading the word of God daily.

The good news about repentance is that it breaks the ties and agreements with sin, flooding the dark areas with light. The bible tells us that when we repent of our sins, they are forgiven, (“if we confess our sins, [Jesus] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins” 1 John 1:9). Once we repent, it is our job to turn the other way and continue in the truth. We do this through fellowship with the Lord, and continuing in the word of God.

The word of God is a light for our path, so we know which way to go, and so that we don't continue to stumble around in the darkness. There are so many life-changing benefits to studying, reading, and meditating on God's word! Here are a few scriptures that show us some of the benefits to staying in the word of God daily:

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart. . . . I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9–11).

The Bible is our manual for living as it is “God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16).

God's word keeps us from sin, ad protects us from the consequences of sin, which ultimately keeps our hearts soft and sensitive to God!

Connecting with God even when we don't feel Him

As I shared in the beginning, these are three of the ways we can all have a hardened heart towards the Lord, although i'm sure these are not the only way. I'm also sure that there are other causes and reasons for feeling that God is far from us outside of a hardened heart, but in my experience, this has been one of the main ways I have felt has impacted me the most.

I don't share any of this to make anyone feel condemned. Rather, because I have been on both sides of the fence, I can honestly say that the best place to be is in a place where your heart is soft and ready and able to receive from the Lord. He loves you and I more than we could ever imagine, and He never stops pursuing us, and drawing our hearts to His.

This world can pull us in all different directions if we let it, but the only one that truly matters is the one who made us. His plans for us is the absolute best plan, better than we could ask, think, or imagine! Being close to Him and hearing His voice is crucial to walking out His plan, and to do that we have to position our hearts to hear from His.

That being said, if you are in this place today, my heart goes out to you. It can be one of the most lonely places when you feel distant from God, because we were designed to be in fellowship with Him! The good news is, He is just as close as the mention of HIs name, meaning He is right next to your side, and He has never and will never leave you!

When you don't seem to feel Him close, start and continue to pursue Him, even if it's by faith. Ask Him to show you and reveal areas your heart may be far from Him, or what the cause may be. Continue in the word, press in through prayer, and praise your way through what feels like a dessert season. His refreshing rain is waiting for you, and it will melt the rough places off of your heart!

*I also want to make note and mention that if you are reading this and don't know the Lord personally as Savior, but are searching and wondering how to know Him more, He is so ready to welcome you into His loving arms and guide you through the best possible life you He designed for you! All you have to do is receive Him into your heart, and ask Him to guide your life. Just as soon as you pray and ask Him to be your Savior, He will be just as close to you as I mentioned, and He will never leave your side! He is drawing your heart to His, and He is welcoming you with open arms!